I just read the whole thread and wanted to make a couple of points:
--You can smoke on a grill. I did it for five years on a Weber with their smoking accessory and it turned out good product. I ran one burner at about 30% and it maintained rock solid 225 degrees. Not the most efficient or fun way to smoke, but it did the job. I have my suspicions that all the smoke destroyed the grill over the course of five years because that grill self destructed rather quickly for a Weber. But just suspicions, no solid evidence there.
--Make sure you fully understand your requirements and priorities. It seems like set and forget is a priority (hence the
AMZN interest). If that is a really a priority, you should get a smoker that is truly "set and forget," not a smoker that requires additional purchases to get to "set and forget." If you buy an inexpensive smoker that doesn't meet your requirements, but then have to buy a pellet tray, $35 worth of pellets, a decent thermometer, etc... your inexpensive smoker does not ended being so inexpensive.
--My buddy Mitch wanted to get into smoking and bought a
Masterbuilt. Unfortunately most of his stories since then have not been about great smokes, but rather about his controller and heating element dying on him multiple times and waiting to get replacement parts from
Masterbuilt so he could smoke. Not saying this is is indicative of the overall
Masterbuilt experience, just giving you some anecdotal info that may be relevant to where you are in your smoking journey.
--If you go the pellet route, make sure there are a few retailers nearby that you can get to quickly in a pinch. I have smoked with chunks and chips and I know that if I run out of wood on a Saturday night, or if I just want to try something different at a moment's notice, I can go to one of a dozen places nearby and get what I want.
--I also went through the same search you did, seeking answers to my questions. I also came here thinking I wanted a
Masterbuilt (mostly because they have the most presence in my retail market). I now have a smoker I love that easily produces phenomenal food and it is not at all what I thought I would end up with before I read what this forum has to offer.
--Regarding your questions about which meat and which wood: at some point you need to just buy a butt and some wood and just jump in and start gaining experience. There is no replacement for experience. Have fun! If this was rocket science I would not be able to do it (: