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Smoking fails - Page 2

post #21 of 31
Originally Posted by tjs231 View Post

I know it has to just be coincidence, but I'm thinking there's an outside chance beer might play a small part in many of these "failures"

Ya think???

post #22 of 31
Originally Posted by tjs231 View Post

I know it has to just be coincidence, but I'm thinking there's an outside chance beer might play a small part in many of these "failures"

Yes even I must admit the nectar of the gods can have some adverse effects on our finished products. But in all fairness, the ideas seem so great at the time we come up with them. fire.gifbeercheer.gif
post #23 of 31
Oh my god! Some great fails have been shared.

With 25 years of professional cooking I have had many fails. So I will keep it to a couple smoking related.

I had used several diffrent smokers and was pushing for my work to buy a nice one. So they bought a Pitmaker Vault and I proceeded to start using it. Everything was going well as I was learning it. So now it was time to show others how to use it. I went over hownto control the heat, where to put water and the fact if your looking your not cooking. So I loaded about 15 ea 8 way cut chicken and went on my way. Well this is where it gets fail....... I did not look at the water pan after the smoker had been running for a couple hours before loading it. We did not fill it all the way up, due to wanting a fast heat up for demo and the cooking of chicken was not planned. So I go out and check the smoker temps and notice they had jumped to over 375, so I open the cooker. Well let say when you add a ton of O2 to a hot well with grease in it you get a nice show. Make sure you have marshmallows! The flames were so high that both guests and security called the fire department. Lets just say we had a good laugh when they showed up in full gear. The up side they had a good lunch.

They was more of a flavor fail. I was trying to find a good flavor mixture for my ribs. The family does not like spicy or too salty food. So I had been doing a pork belly at work for breakfast that had orange peel in the rub. I proceeded to make my "new" rub for the entire family plus some. I served everyone and they were all quite eating when I sat down with my plate. I took a bite and evaluated the taste, not bad but not great. My son who was always late came and sat down with his, took a bite and leaned over to my wife and said something and then looked at me. I knew something was up, so I asked. Well true to form of a teenage boy who does not get along with his step father, he said what did you do to the ribs? They taste funny, they actually suck. I told them and they all agreed not to do that seasoning again.

I only concider stories like these and those shared to be a fail if you learned nothing from the incident.
post #24 of 31

This is not an entertaining "flaming volcano smoker" fail (loved those stories!), but one folks with kids might appreciate.  Like JarJarChef it is a flavor fail and recovery.


The origin of my "Sprinkled" Pork ribs, which is now the only way we do ribs here at the house. 


I was experimenting with homemade pork rubs that had substantially less sugar that most recipes.  I threw a few rubbed racks of SLCs on the smoker, sauced and caramelized them at toward the end of a 6 hour unwrapped smoke, then took a bite.  They had the right bite but the flavor was WAY too savory and unbalanced, to the point I thought I'd ruined the ribs with the experimental rub.  I started thinking about ways I could use the rib meat in chili, etc.   


On a whim with nothing to lose I grabbed the bag of Raw Sugar (the stuff that looks like little brown crystals), sprinkled some on the ribs, then took a bite.  The sweetness balanced the savory beautifully, but the crunch and sweetness of the sugar crystals added a surprisingly fun sensation to eating the ribs!  Sprinkled ribs only works just as you are getting to eat a rib because the sugar will dissolve into the sauce in less than 5 minutes but kids go nuts over sprinkling raw sugar on their ribs!  (Or having an adult do so).  The adults can control the amount of sweetness on the kids ribs and more importantly, their own. 


No beer involved BTW.  I stand on the 5th if anyone mentions scotch, bourbon, or tequila. 

post #25 of 31

Epic fail in progress:  I forgot to soak my corned beef before rubbing it and throwing it on the smoker.  I will just have to see if it turns out way too salty.


Old fail:  I like to try different things and my wife does not like food which is way too hot.  I ran across a suggestion to soak the jalapenos in 7up to take away some of the heat.  I fresh squeezed some lemons and limes and put the peppers in a foodsaver vacuum seal container with the juice overnight.  Needless to say, the jalapenos were completely pickled with a lemon/lime flavor with no trace of the actual pepper taste.  The Atomic Buffalo Turds found the trash can shortly after the first tasting. 

post #26 of 31
Thread Starter 

Even less of a fail now that you've shared for others to learn from. Thanks for the stories Jarjar :beercheer:

post #27 of 31
Thread Starter 

I don't know if this will work for taking the heat out of an actual pepper but a good friend / chef turned me on to cutting too hot salsa with chicken broth.  Works great and doesn't water down the flavor of the salsa.

AHHHHHHH  home made  SALSA....kewl.gif    Another of my kitchen passions !

post #28 of 31
Originally Posted by Wade View Post

A long, long time ago... The first time I ever lit up my very first offset I was really pleased at the amount of thick billowing smoke I managed to achieve from burning the logs I just happened to have in the garden. After just 4 hours the pork has a thick black sticky coating - some was where it had charred and some was from smoke tar. It was as dry as sawdust inside. My wife refused to try it and I am embarased to say that I wimped out too. I have no idea what the logs were - probably a mix including pine. At that time I had previously only used my Webers and I though offset smoking wasn't really smoking unless you had Autumn bonfire quality smoke.


After that disaster I decided to admit defeat and RTFM - or at least go looking for advice from some American friends I worked with then.

Thanks Wade, I laughed out loud from your post. This is exactly the kind of thing that I would do and did once.  


Many moons ago I thought I would smoke some cornish hens on my gasser. Mind you I knew absolutely nothing about just grilling much less the art of smoking. I had some chips to use, but gosh darn it the smoke was thin and blue and I kept adding chips and adding chips to achieve a heavy billowing smoke. Well needless to say it was an epic fail. I managed to get down a few bites and that was a mistake. I belched horrible smoke burps for 24 hours. 

post #29 of 31
Smh & still grinning.
So cold smoking on damp/drizzly Saturday morning 38-40* temps, doing butter, cheese and salt this day. Using 18" amnts with apple pellets and thought I'd add some cherry chips layered in tube also for flavor. Loaded shelves & made diagram of all cheeses/butters with two screens of salt on the bottom. Lite the tube w/propane torch waited a couple minutes blew out flame and laid it under all the racks, closed door. Nice flow of smoke out of vents, life is good...
Headed into town to fill a couple propane tanks & misc errands. Get back home only to find a smoke stained wall and porch ceiling. Opened door to a melted mess inside, most of the butter was on the walls and cheese shelve, both screens of salt were caked with butter & cream cheese. Only a couple of sticks that were partially melted through the shelve were salvaged out (20 some). Salt that had butter only was rolled in log with plastic wrap and refrigerated. Unfortunately this was very salty butter, still used it for what I could but it was rough. Hard cheeses were edible, minor disformaty they just needed wiped down from butter. Wasn't to many 8 oz blocks of hard cheese, mainly butter and salt for my buddies 84 yr old grandpa, he loves the smoked salt and butter so I keep him stocked up. Butter freezes and salt keeps in pint mason jars.

My lessons learned were always pull smoker away from wall, don't leave, when cold smoking verify the pellets flame blows out when putting tube in smoker. All I can figure is the flame reignited when I closed the door. Not sure if any of you all mix pellets and chips but I have not tried again since. What a frickin mess, sorry but taking a picture was not my fist thought. Cleaned wall/ceiling, while I can still see slight discoloration on wall, the "Warden" has no idea this ever happened as she was gone for the day. Here is pixs of similar set up and some finished cheeses. Note the smoker is away from all walls when being used.

Hey, live and learn right... but still smh / grinning
Good luck !!
post #30 of 31

On a BBQ board a few years ago, one guy hosted a big event and his pit was too close to the wall with plastic siding. When it drooped, it did not go over well with the spouse.


It must have been a darn hot rig to do that.




post #31 of 31
Thread Starter 

Great story.  Very interested in cheese smoking process.  I love smoked cheese but as I don't have a smoker that can cold smoke the slightest thought hadn't begun to speculate about the nearest possibilty of crossing my mind.  :hit:         Gonna have to upgrade my equipment.

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