Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 (or having sped past that speed bump without slowing down)!
I. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
II. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12.You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the
room.
I 3. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15.Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to payoff.
16.Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
them either.
18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19.You can't remember who sent you this list. And you notice these are all in
big print for your convenience.
ONE MORE THING:
NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE A SLEEPING
PILL, AND A LAXATIVE ON THE SAME NIGHT!
Advise your children to get you quality gifts. After all,
they don't want to inherit junk.
I. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
II. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12.You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the
room.
I 3. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15.Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to payoff.
16.Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
them either.
18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19.You can't remember who sent you this list. And you notice these are all in
big print for your convenience.
ONE MORE THING:
NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE A SLEEPING
PILL, AND A LAXATIVE ON THE SAME NIGHT!
Advise your children to get you quality gifts. After all,
they don't want to inherit junk.
