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A Christmas Smokers poem

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

To Marinade, or not to Marinade: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous Brining,

Or to take arms against a sea of Injecting,
And by opposing end it? To smoke: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks of
that Grill that wont light,

'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To Rub, to Rub;
To Rub: perchance to figure out what to Rub: ay, there's the rub;
For in that lack of sleep what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal smoker,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long hours;

For who would bear the Grill marks and temperatures of too much smoke,
The temperatures wrong, the proud man's old smoker dies,
The pangs of despised foiling, the days delay,

The insolence of the cold and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy Internal Temperature,

When he himself might his BBQ Sauce make
With a bare Slab of Brisket? who would his cold butt bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary overnight smoke,

But that the dread of that after death,
The undiscover'd Burt Ends from whose bourn

No Smoke returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to other smokers that we know not of?

Thus those dang temps that seem to never change does
make cowards of us all;

And thus the native Southerners of resolution
Is sicklied o'er the lack of bark,

And enterprises of great Mesquite and Hickory
With this regard their Cherry Wood turned moldy,
And lose the name of the dry rub. – Wet rub you now!

The fair Egg Smoker! Colorful, in thy shape
Be all my smokes remember'd.

Edited by needsmetidaho - 12/19/11 at 7:42am
post #2 of 6

A lament to smokers everywhere!  Is this original?  


Thank you for the post!

post #3 of 6
Thread Starter 

Well, the bones of it is Shakespeare. Cant take credit for that. But I did all the mods to make it smoke worthy.

post #4 of 6

That was freakin' Brilliant!... Tis feckless to wax poetic lest thine coloquy beset benighted aural sense!...And I are one!...30.gif...JJ

post #5 of 6
Thread Starter 

Thank you!!!


Apprecaite it.

post #6 of 6

And with the simple tho pure of mind I say smoke on smoke on.

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