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For all the retireing baby boomers!

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 

 


 

 

You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...

 

1.  You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.  

2.  You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

3.  You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.  

4.  You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

5.  You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

6.  The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!  

 
 


 

 
 

OR

 
 


 

 
 

You can retire to California where...

 

 

 

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

 
 
 

2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

 
 

3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

 

4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

 

5.  When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

 

6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

 

 

 

OR

 

 

 

You can retire to New York City where...

 

 

 

1.  You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .    

 

2.  You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle  to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin  on a map.  

 

3.  You think Central Park is "nature."  

 

4.  You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

 

5.  You've worn out a car horn. (Ed. Note: IF you have a car).

 

6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

 

 

 

OR

 

 

 

You can retire to Minnesota where...

 

 

 

1.  You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco ..  

 

2.  Halloween costumes fit over parkas.  

 

3.  You have more than one recipe for casserole.  

 

4.  Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.  

 

5.  The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.  

 

 

 

OR

 

 

 

You can retire to the Deep South where...

 

 

 

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.  

 

2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.  

 

3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.

 

4. Everyone has 2 first names:  Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Ellen , Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.

 

5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference, too.  

 

 

 

OR

 

 

 

You can retire to Colorado where...

 

 

 

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

 

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.

 

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

 

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

 

 

 

OR

 

 

 

You can retire to the Midwest where...

 

 

 

1. You'll never meet any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

 

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

 

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

 

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

 

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

 

 

 

OR

 

 

 

FINALLY You can retire to Florida where...

 

 

 

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

 

2.. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

 

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

 

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

 

5.  Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

 

 

 

post #2 of 11

Gee Thanks Johnny. Since I am a little over a month away from retiring I realize how many great choices I have with this post.

Yes I can and do love my artichokes AND my avocados. Where I live we dont have car rental agencies with Mercades but we do have the 4 seasons.

xrocker.gif

post #3 of 11

LOL---Good one Johnny!

 

Seems my home fits best with the "Midwest".

 

 

Bear

post #4 of 11

Yep, Midwest here too Bear...

post #5 of 11
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarbelly View Post

Gee Thanks Johnny. Since I am a little over a month away from retiring I realize how many great choices I have with this post.

Yes I can and do love my artichokes AND my avocados. Where I live we dont have car rental agencies with Mercades but we do have the 4 seasons.

xrocker.gif



Well I am nowhere near retirement, but I do agree with loving artichokes and avocados. Our girls were about the only ones I have ever met that new how to eat artichokes (and liked them!) by the ages of 6 & 8.... lol.

 

post #6 of 11

Hey, I'm from NYC....that's all true...don't think I saw a tree until I was 12 and ran away from home....lol. Can't wait to see Als post on this....

post #7 of 11

A great list but here in Minnesota you forgot the 5th spice "milk"  and the Minnesota binder "cream of anything" for the hotdish.  biggrin.gif

post #8 of 11
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chef Willie View Post

Hey, I'm from NYC....that's all true...don't think I saw a tree until I was 12 and ran away from home....lol. Can't wait to see Als post on this....


I don't know it might go straight over his head...... Lol:devil:
post #9 of 11

Only 4 years 9 months to go

post #10 of 11

Don't effect me, I'm one of those war babies.  At least up this way, Johnny and I know what a bumbershoot is.

post #11 of 11

Two years, Five months, Five days, One hour, Thirty minutes, but who the hell is counting and I still think Alaska ,other than the long winter, has my retirement vote..

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