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witicisms

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

    Witticisms

(Some old; some older...)

 

 

It 's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.
 

You are not drunk
 if you can lie on the floor
 without holding on.


 

We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of "smart"?

 

The original point and click interface
 was a Smith & Wesson.


A fool and his money
can throw one heck of a party.


When blondes have more fun do they know it?



 

Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.


LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL


Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.


Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.


If at first you don't succeed

 skydiving is not for you.
 

Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.


Time's fun when you're having flies.
             ......Kermit the Frog

 

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
 

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
 

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.


One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.


Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.


Alabama  state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi


ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.


The latest survey shows that
 three out of four people make
 up 75% of the population

 "You know why a banana is like a politician?"
 "When he first comes in he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's rotten."


 "I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors."

post #2 of 5

hit.gif

post #3 of 5

I resemble about half of those banana_smiley.gif

post #4 of 5

Please remember not to try to teach a pig to sing, because you can't.. and it annoys the pig.

post #5 of 5

I think those sum up  my life pretty good!  pepsi.gif

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