A voluminous mountain gal walks in to the hospital of the nearby town. She goes up to the receptionst:
Mtn gal says "Hi - i need to see an upturn"
Recpt replied "upturn? You must mean an intern"
Mtn gal "okay an intern then - because I need a contamination"
Recpt replied "contamination? You must mean an examination"
Mtn gal "okay an examination - look - I don't know them fancy medical words but I haven't demonstrated in 3 months and Pa thinks I'm stagnant!"