You know you live in Michigan when......

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by bbq bubba, Jan 13, 2008.

  1. bbq bubba

    bbq bubba Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Are you aware that Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan? Read on.
    (pretty funny and acurate)


    1. If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through
    18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan.


    2. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights
    each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan.


    3. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you
    might live in Michigan.


    4. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the
    year, you might live in Michigan.


    5. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in
    Michigan.


    6. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of
    his forehead, you might live in Michigan.


    7. If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan.


    8. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might
    live in Michigan.


    9. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
    dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan.

    Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANDER when . . .


    1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75


    2. You measure distance in hours.


    3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

    4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

    5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
    blizzard, without
    flinching.

    6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
    weddings).

    7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
    unlocked.

    8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

    9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

    10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
    with snow.

    11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
    road construction.

    12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

    13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
    your blue spruce.

    14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

    15. Down South to you means Ohio.

    16. A brat is something you eat.

    17. Your neighbor
    throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.

    18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

    19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

    20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

    21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

    22. You drink pop and bake with soda.

    23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not
    medicine.

    24. You can actually drink Vernors without coughing.

    25. You know what a Yooper is.

    26. You think owning a Honda is Un-American.

    27. You know that UP is a place, not a direction.

    28. You know it's possible to live in a thumb.

    29. You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.

    30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
    Michigan friends.
     
  2. nh3b's

    nh3b's Meat Mopper SMF Premier Member

    HA HA, Former Michigander here, In fact, I used to live in New Baltimore.....Jefferson and Cotton rd.....early 90's

    You forgot a couple....

    You or someone you know works for the big 3.

    You know what the big 3 is.....or was.

    You know that pickeral means Walleye.

    You have counted over 20 road kill deer in a 50 mile stretch outside of Detroit.
     
  3. bassman

    bassman Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    When you go the the grocery store and ask "where is the pickled bologna" you don't get a slack jawed blank stare [​IMG] . Keith

    PS: I was born and partially grew up in Michigan!
     
  4. squeezy

    squeezy Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    We have the same list here in Ontario ....the only real difference is the border! [​IMG]

    I just found it ....

    My Canadian Experience If you live in Ontario

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Since you are about to become an “official†resident of our fair province, here’s an old piece of email that keeps coming around and around …. I promise I will not send any more.

    If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you live in Ontario.
    If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Wawa is the coldest spot in the nation, you live in Ontario.
    If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Ontario.
    If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you live in Ontario.
    If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you live in Ontario.
    If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Ontario.
    If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Ontario.

    YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Ontarian :
    1. "Vacation" means going South past London for the weekend.
    2. You measure distance in hours.
    3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
    4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and then back again.
    5. You can drive 110 kph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
    6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
    7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
    8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
    9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
    10. Down South to you means London.
    11. Your 1st of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
    12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
    13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
    14. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Ontario friends.


    .
     
  5. hillbillysmoker

    hillbillysmoker Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    and you left out:

    When you hire all the WVU coaches to help the "Mountain State" with unemployment.
     
  6. prov1

    prov1 Smoke Blower

    Oh so true! I live in West Michigan and I just spent the morning and afternoon smokin in the snow......
     
  7. nh3b's

    nh3b's Meat Mopper SMF Premier Member

    As I was watching the Chargers-Colts game......
    1. You know what a Party store is

    2. You can buy Vernors

    Hey ProV1, I used to live in Hastings......Nice country......Thanks for the snow as we are getting it tommarrow.
     
  8. capt dan

    capt dan Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    You forgot..............You can roll your lawn one day, and shovel the driveway of snow the next!
     

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