Wives!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by jirodriguez, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. jirodriguez

    jirodriguez Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.








    David Bissonette







    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.





    Sacha Guitry











    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

    Socrates














    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.







    Anonymous












    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?







    Dumas












    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.






    Sigmund Freud












    'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'







    Anonymous












    'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'






    Sam Kinison












    'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'







    James Holt McGavra












    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.








    Patrick Murra












    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....







    Nash













    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.






    Anonymous












    My wife and I were happy for twenty years Then we met.







    Henny Youngman











    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.







    Rodney Dangerfield












    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'






    Anonymous












    First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

    Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'








    Anonymous
     
  2. the dude abides

    the dude abides Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Now there's one that I will forward to my wife. LOL That's hilarious.
     
  3. mr mac

    mr mac Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    I sent a copy to my wife. She replaced all words elluding to wife and woman and replaced them all with husband and man. [​IMG]
     
  4. larry maddock

    larry maddock Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    YO-[​IMG]
     
  5. got14u

    got14u Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Nice one !!!
     
  6. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Some Very Intelligent Quotes You Have There...[​IMG]
     

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