why men can't win

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by linescum, Sep 15, 2007.

  1. linescum

    linescum Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Why Men Can't Win



    If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
    If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

    If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
    If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

    If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
    If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

    If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
    If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

    If you cry, you're a wimp.
    If you don't, you're insensitive.

    If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
    If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

    If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
    If she asks you, it's a favor.

    If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
    If you don't, you're a slob.

    If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
    If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

    If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
    If you're not, you're not ambitious.

    If she has a headache, she's tired.
    If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore
     
  2. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Have you been following me around, that sounds like my life![​IMG][​IMG]
     
  3. coleysmokinbbq

    coleysmokinbbq Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Ain't it the pure truth!!...And they think THEY'VE got it rough!!...[​IMG]...



    You too, huh?...[​IMG]...
     
  4. richoso1

    richoso1 Smoking Guru OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Sounds like a new reality show "Will the real loser please Standup".
     
  5. catfish

    catfish Meat Mopper OTBS Member

    They are even setting us up in school. My wife just had me take 33 traits her teacher in her college spech class sent home and put them in the order I see her having them. I was not falling for that set up. There is no way to win this situation. I could be honest and then I'll be in the dog house. I could lie and then I am not supporting her goals of college.Some of them were kind of mean or degrading. I am going on 8 years of marriage in nov. I aint no dumba$$ I know when to say no no no. I am a mans man. I take those things they call emotions and swallow them down. So if y'all dont hear from me for a while I put one of the 33 traits in the wrong place and am trying to make up for it.Wish me luck.

    [​IMG]

    Paul
     
  6. richtee

    richtee Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Eh, put 'em all in a shaker and draw 'em out one at a time, just for fun.
    Then tell her how ya picked 'em!
     
  7. coleysmokinbbq

    coleysmokinbbq Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    GREAT IDEA!!!...That could work!!!...[​IMG]


    Until later...
     
  8. -devil-

    -devil- Smoke Blower

    hah, yeah those are so true ... it almost isn't funny lol ...
     

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