WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
>
> What do you expect from such simple creatures?
> Your last name stays put.
> The garage is all yours.
> Wedding plans take care of themselves.
> Chocolate is just another snack...
> You can be President.
> You can never be pregnant.
> You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
> You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
> Car mechanics tell you the truth.
> The world is your urinal.
> You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
> is just too icky.
> You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
> Wrinkles add character.
> Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
> People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
> New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
> One mood all the time.
> Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
> You know stuff about tanks.
> A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
> You can open all your own jars.
> You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
> If someone forgets to invite you,
> He or she can still be your friend.
> Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack.
> Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
> You almost never have strap problems in public.
> You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
> Everything on your face stays its original color.
> The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
> You only have to shave your face and neck.
> You can play with toys all your life.
> One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
> You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
> You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
> You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
> You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25
> minutes.
> ___________________________________
> NICKNAMES
> If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
> Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will
> affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
>
> EATING OUT
> When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
> though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
> none will actually admit they want change back.
> When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
> MONEY
> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
> sale.
>
> BATHROOMS
> A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
> cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
> The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
> man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
>
> ARGUMENTS
> A woman has the last word in any argument.
> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
> FUTURE
> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
> MARRIAGE
> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>
> DRESSING UP
> A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
> answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
> NATURAL
> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
> THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
> remembering the same thing!
>
>
> SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle
> it .... and to the men who will enjoy reading it
>
> What do you expect from such simple creatures?
> Your last name stays put.
> The garage is all yours.
> Wedding plans take care of themselves.
> Chocolate is just another snack...
> You can be President.
> You can never be pregnant.
> You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
> You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
> Car mechanics tell you the truth.
> The world is your urinal.
> You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
> is just too icky.
> You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
> Wrinkles add character.
> Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
> People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
> New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
> One mood all the time.
> Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
> You know stuff about tanks.
> A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
> You can open all your own jars.
> You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
> If someone forgets to invite you,
> He or she can still be your friend.
> Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack.
> Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
> You almost never have strap problems in public.
> You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
> Everything on your face stays its original color.
> The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
> You only have to shave your face and neck.
> You can play with toys all your life.
> One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
> You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
> You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
> You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
> You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25
> minutes.
> ___________________________________
> NICKNAMES
> If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
> Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will
> affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
>
> EATING OUT
> When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
> though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
> none will actually admit they want change back.
> When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
> MONEY
> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
> sale.
>
> BATHROOMS
> A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
> cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
> The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
> man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
>
> ARGUMENTS
> A woman has the last word in any argument.
> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
> FUTURE
> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
> MARRIAGE
> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>
> DRESSING UP
> A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
> answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
> NATURAL
> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
> THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
> remembering the same thing!
>
>
> SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle
> it .... and to the men who will enjoy reading it
