What's Your Worst Meal Story??

[Bearcarver]

LOL----How many of you guys ever got your butt beat for cooking something to eat???

I must have been about 6 years old, when I got a wooden handled fork out of the utensil drawer, and a Hot Dog from the fridge. Then I pulled a kitchen chair over to Mom's Gas Stove, and climbed up on the chair. Then I stuck the Dog on the fork, and was in the middle of flaming the hot dog for a snack, when Mom caught me. From that point forward, it wasn't pretty!!! 

  

And that was just the beginning of my BBQing and Smoking!!!  

Bear

 

[azbohunter]

Bear...this would be child abuse today!

I remember a incident with a wooden spoon but I wasn't cooking. Reminds me of the above attachment. LOL @ least today it is!

 

[noboundaries]

We were staying with friends who didn't do much cooking, period.  To say they cooked at all would be an overstatement.  They ate out a lot.  They had a top shelf kitchen that made me green with envy but not much in the way of spices or supplies in the cabinets or refrigerator.   

Every few years I do something I call Miracle meals.  My wife and I agree to avoid buying anything from the grocery store except a minimum amount of perishables (milk, eggs, and a few veggies and fruit).  We use up whatever is in the cabinets, freezer, refrigerator, etc.  We don't even start the miracle period until we think we are out of items needed for making a main course.  It forces you to get creative with what you have on hand.  We've gone 6 weeks more than once without grocery shopping except for a few things I mentioned.  You'd be amazed at the old stuff you find buried in your cabinets.

My wife and I were sharing this little exercise with our cookless friends and they decided to challenge me on a Saturday morning.  They whipped out eggs, left over restaurant pot roast, green beans, and a can of tomato sauce.  There were absolutely no spices in the place except some regular salt, flavored salts, ground pepper, and pizza pouches of hot pepper flakes and parmesan cheese.  No noodles.  No rice.  No bread. 

I attempted to make an omelet.  Man, that's one memory that just won't go away.    

 

[jirodriguez]

My mashed potato's have become semi-famous in our family circles - near equal parts dairy to potato... lol. My kids brag about them and diss any potato's that don't measure up.

I use real butter, heavy cream, roasted garlic, salt, and fresh cracked pepper. They are rich and full of flavor, almost a food group unto themselves.

So my mother-in-law likes my mashed potato's and said she would like to be able to make them like that for holidays at her place, so I took the time to show her how I made them. Fast forward to the next family holiday, she has informed us she's making "the" mashed potato's. We all tuck in and my kids eagerly await the potato's.... from across the table I could tell something was not right just from looking at them. My kids get them first.... they pile their plates high, they take a big bite... and spit them onto the plate. Both my girls look up with an expression like a puppy that just got smacked on the nose..... and my oldest (13 with no brain to mouth filter) loudly exclaims! "Grandma these potato's suck!"

After much nervous glances and uncomfortable silence the potato's make it to me.... I spoon a small pile onto my plate and take a small taste. They were potato's.... that's all. Just mashed with a little bit of the water they cooked in - no butter, no dairy, no salt NOTHING! It was like eating warm paste (like you used to use in elementary school).

When we got home we discussed the proper technique for expressing a dislike for somebody's cooking.... and did agree that the potato's sucked.

 

[deadmeat]

20 years ago I was doing some domestic fatty ducks on the Weber grill. I left it alone for a brief bit to drink a beer/s with my buddies. Came back to said grill on fire. We had burgers that evening.