What's Your Worst Meal Story??

Discussion in 'Beef' started by tjohnson, Jul 12, 2011.

  1. tjohnson

    tjohnson Smoking Guru Staff Member Moderator Insider OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    This weekend, I borrowed one of my smokers & an AMNPS to a neighbor who wanted to smoke some ribs.

    They he invited us over for a rib dinner

    When we got there, the food smelled good, but the ribs looked kinda funky.  He said they still needed some BBQ sauce and a quick finish on the grill.

    We sat down to eat, and his wife explained the rub they used on the ribs....

         Leftover Turkey Jerky Seasoning she found in the cupboard

         Added Salt, Pepper and Paprika

    Being "Open Minded", I tore into a 1/2 rack.  These were the toughest, nastiest tasting ribs I have ever had!!!!

    There's not enough BBQ Sauce in the World to make these things taste good!!

    They did not even take the membrane off!!!

    I filled up on other stuff on the table

    I just could not bring myself to tell my neighbors that their ribs sucked!!

    Next time, I'm bringing the meat!

  2. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    You need to take them under your wing and teach them how it is done... LOL
  3. Have them over when you make ribs. They can watch. This way your not really insulting them but educating them in a subtle way. When they taste yours they'll realize how bad theirs really were.
  4. scarbelly

    scarbelly Smoking Guru OTBS Member


    I agree with Paul. As much test smoking as you do you could teach him in a heartbeat
  5. bluebombersfan

    bluebombersfan Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    That is too bad,  you must teach him wise one...................
  6. tjohnson

    tjohnson Smoking Guru Staff Member Moderator Insider OTBS Member SMF Premier Member


    I've tried, but when his "Significant Other" rules the roost, and knows it all, it's hard to intervene!

    Every time I BBQ Ribs or make bacon, I bring them some.

    We've had them over for a "Ribfest" a number of times.

    I even brought them some of Paul's rub to use

    I only get to eat her food once in a while, but he has to take it every day!

    Only person I know who uses Rib Steak for Swiss Steak!!

  7. daddydon

    daddydon Smoke Blower

    Have to laugh ...i have a neighbor who does the same and makes bbq sauce....It reminds me of the most rank stuff u can imiange.I choked down a few of his meals...but i take q over to show them how its suppose to taste not shoe leather..
  8. africanmeat

    africanmeat Master of the Pit OTBS Member


    don't worry  you just need a new neighbor . move to cape town i will do ribs for you [​IMG]
  9. smokinal

    smokinal Smoking Guru Staff Member Moderator OTBS Member ★ Lifetime Premier ★

    Great story Todd. It's funny how some people know everything about everything & are always right. You just can't help them with anything without them telling you you don't know what your talking about. We have a relative like that. Thank God he lives in Ohio.
  10. tjohnson

    tjohnson Smoking Guru Staff Member Moderator Insider OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Anyone else have a tragic story of a terrible meal you had to choke down?

  11. Luckily most people think I'm an A-Hole anyway so if I refuse to eat it they think it's me not them.
    beefy bill likes this.
  12. venture

    venture Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Yes Todd, I have a couple that even involve ribs.  The worst was a potluck where the rib expert threw the ribs in the oven to crisp up the gallons of sauce he had drowned them.  I later learned they had been boiled before being drowned in sauce.  Another was at a reunion camp out where the guy pulled the ribs out of his cooler, sauced them and heated them on the grill.  All night he was bragging about how he had roasted them in the oven at home and brought them to the campsite in the cooler.  Naturally, in both cases, people raved about how good the ribs were and convinced these guys they were BBQ guru's.

    Good luck and good smoking.
  13. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Sounds great Todd---Where can we get some of that Turkey Jerky Seasoning??  [​IMG]

    Funny you have to take your own Doggy Bag TOO the dinner!

  14. Too funny...had to let my own brother have it one time, in a nice way. He had par boiled the ribs,

    threw them on the grill with BBQ sauce...heh heh...we had to cut the meat off the bone and then

    into small sizes to eat with a fork, can you imagine, eating ribs with a fork and knife????

    Me and my sister-in-law let him know his ribs were terrible. I said, "Dude if you're gonna do ribs,

    get a smoker". Nope, he's gonna do it his way, that's it. So, I drank all of his bourbon and the wife

    had to drive us home....I'll show you fork and knife ribs,  say goodbye to your hooch Bro'.
  15. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    LOL---That part in red really did me in!!!-------Now That's Funny !!!!!!

    I love it !!!!

    Thanks Master,

  16. jirodriguez

    jirodriguez Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Every Thanksgiving dinner I have had at my mother-in-laws! [​IMG]

    .... the year she decided to use french cut CANNED green beans to make the green bean casserole - can you say green bean MUSH!

    .... the year she had to work the early morning shift at the jail and decided to put the turkey in at 3:00 AM at 225° and let it go till 4:00 PM before taking it out - yes, yes it is possible to jerky a  WHOLE turkey!

    .... the year she cooked a whole ham in one of those counter top electric oven things. Not sure how long it was in there, but it was soooo dry that it crumbled apart and looked like chipped beef. My wife was unable to identify what type of meat it was supposed to be and had to just ask the kids "Who want's..... um..... meat?"

    God bless the woman she tries, and loves having the family over for holiday meals - but we now have a new family tradition: Go to grandma's eat just enough to be polite, and stop for burgers on the way home!
  17. scarbelly

    scarbelly Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    We have a friend that used to teach home ec at the high school. That was also her major in college. She is a horrible cook. She made a chicken dish she called "Drunken Chicken Breasts" . Her version is cooked for 2 hours in wine at 350. I told her the only way I could eat it was if I was drunk. So I did. [​IMG]
  18. raptor700

    raptor700 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

      She should have used some (Turkey Jerky seasoning)! [​IMG]
  19. mballi3011

    mballi3011 Smoking Guru OTBS Member SMF Premier Member


    Now your more of a man then I am. I would hae told him about his ribs. Maybe tell her but I wouldn't have to eat their ribs anymore. I would however tell the hubby half of that team to go get his spine back and show him how to smoke some good ribs.
  20. My similar story is about cake. My sister is extremely talented when it comes to making cakes look like things. Kind of like Ace of Cakes only hers are all edible and not filled with wood and styrofoam. Not as elaborate, but good stuff.

    They weren't always edible!

    First time I had some...it looked like a hamburger, fries and a coke. Really looked good but tasted like a dropped in the sand Kmart special.  She started it by asking me what I thought of the cake...so I told her.  Nicely i said they look really awesome but taste like shttt.  Somewhat taken aback, and after she calmed down (I got an f-u from her)...I explained that anyone who eats cake and likes it does not leave any on their plate.  I merely said - look around at the table!  Every one had cake left on their plates.

    She then commenced to making a cake (and the frosting, fondant and all that other stuff) taste really good.  Brotherly love!  What's really cool is that she used to come over and make the cakes in our kitchen because it was much bigger than hers...and I got the "carvings" from the decorated cakes.  Probably why I weighed 225 when I left MN and now I'm 190 - sure do miss them cakes!

    Related to ribs - mine were probably that bad in the beginning compared to how they are now. Difference was I knew it and set out to learn how to improve them...still learning!


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