Todays Thoughts, Something for Everyone

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blackhawk19, Dec 25, 2007.

  1. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

    When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

    A penny saved is a government oversight.

    The real art of conversation is not only to say
    the right thing at the right time, but also to leave
    unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

    The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
    because by then your body and your fat have
    gotten to be really good friends.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house
    is to buy a replacement.

    He who hesitates is probably right.

    Have you ever noticed that The Roman Numerals
    for forty (40) are ' XL.'

    If you think there is good in everybody,
    you haven't met everybody.

    If you can smile when things go wrong,
    you have someone in mind to blame.

    The sole purpose of a child's middle name
    is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

    There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

    Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words
    'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs?'

    Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
    stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

    The older we get, the fewer things
    seem worth waiting in line for.

    Some people try to turn back their odometers.
    Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
    I've traveled a long way and some of the
    roads weren't paved.

    When you are dissatisfied and would
    like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

    You know you are getting old when
    everything either dries up or leaks.

    One of the many things no one tells you about aging
    is that it is such a nice change from being young.

    Ah, being young is beautiful,
    but being old is comfortable.

    First you forget names, then you forget faces.
    Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
    It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

    Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
    with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
    Today, it's called golf.
     
  2. richtee

    richtee Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Heh...thanks for the gift Hawk...laughter is a wonderful present! Merry Christmas!
     
  3. monty

    monty Master of the Pit Staff Member Moderator OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    "There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt." By Blackhawk19

    Hey, Hawk! That's an easy fix. just start eating till they all fill in!

    Cheers!
     

Share This Page