The Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by mossymo, Sep 11, 2007.

  1. mossymo

    mossymo Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    1. A day without sunshine is like night.

    2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

    3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

    4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

    5. Remember, half the people you kn ow are below average.

    6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

    7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

    8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

    9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

    10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

    11. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

    12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

    13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

    14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

    15. When everything is coming your way, you 're in the wrong lane.

    16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

    17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

    18. Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

    19. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

    21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What happened?"

    22. Just remember: If the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

    23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeños because what you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
     
  2. flagriller

    flagriller Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Nice, very funny, and the reason it's so funny is because there's a certain element of truth to it.
     
  3. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Good one, they make sense to me [​IMG]
     

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