Pete goes to the doctor with a pain in his elbow. The doctor tells him to pee into a cup. Pete asks "How is peeing in a cup is going to help with the diagnosis?" The doctor explains that he has a new machine that will detect any problem by simply examining a patient's urine. Pete goes into the bathroom, pees in the cup, and then brings the cup back to the doctor. The doctor sticks the prod into the cup and the machine spits out a sheet of paper. The doctor says "You've got tennis elbow" and prescribes some anti-inflammatory pills and tells Pete to go home and rest the arm. He says to come back in 2 weeks and hands him an empty cup. "To save time, please bring your urine sample the morning of your appointment." Two weeks go bye and it is the morning of the follow-up visit. Pete goes into the bathroom at home and pees into the cup. He then gets an evil idea. He goes to his wife and asks her to pee in the cup as well. He does the same with his teenage daughter. He then goes back into the bathroom and **********s into the cup. On his way to get into the car, he pops the engine, pulls out the dip stick and lets a couple of drops of oil fall into the cup. "That ought to do it", thinks Pete. He gets to the doctor's office and when it is his turn he hands the cup to the doctor. The doctor puts the prod into the cup and the machine spits out a long piece of paper. The doctor reads over the paper and then stares at Pete. "What?" Pete asks. The doctor says "I bet you think you are funny don't you?" Pete just looks at him with a slight grin. The doctor continues "Well ... "Your wife is pregnant" "Your daughter has the clap" "Your car needs an oil change" "And if you don't quit jacking-off, your tennis elbow will never heal"