Sayings that SHOULD be on a T-shirt

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by walking dude, Mar 5, 2008.

  1. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

    1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't

    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

    7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing

    10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine.

    12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps .

    15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

    17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    18. Procrastinate Now!

    19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

    20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

    22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

    23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

    24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

    25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

    26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

    28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

    29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
     
  2. desertlites

    desertlites Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    seems a few here have used a couple of those cliches as there own
     
  3. desertlites

    desertlites Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    OH and don't forget I Like Country Music!!
     
  4. I love nyquil...its the 13th step for all of the 12 steppers out there. The box says may cause drowsiness...it should say...dont make any plans. And as always it still comes in the green death flavor. Gotta love it. [​IMG]
     
  5. kookie

    kookie Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Thats a good one...........Love them..............
     
  6. travcoman45

    travcoman45 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Thats good! And mostly all true to!
     

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