R+ but pretty funny.

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by richtee, Oct 30, 2007.

  1. richtee

    richtee Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Here's yer chance to intercept/delete this one....
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    A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he
    realizes it's a gay bar. But what the heck, he says
    to himself, "I can really use a drink."

    When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy,
    "What's the name of your wee-wee?"

    The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that, all
    I want is a drink."

    The gay waiter says, "Im sorry but I can't serve you
    until you tell me the name of your wee-wee. Mine for
    instance is called Nike, the slogan for 'Just Do It,'
    and that guy down at the end of the bar calls his
    Snickers, because it really 'Satisfies'."

    The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells
    him he will give him a second to think it over. So
    the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is
    sipping a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"

    The man looks back and says with a smile, "Timex," and
    the thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella
    proudly replies, "'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps
    on tickin!"

    A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fellas on his
    right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and
    says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"

    The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims,
    "Ford, because Quality is Job One." Then he adds,
    "Have you driven a Ford lately?"

    The guy next to him then says, "I call mine Chevy,
    'Like a Rock!'" and gives a wink.

    Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment
    before he comes up with a name.

    He exclaims, "The name of my wee-wee is 'Secret' now
    give me a dang beer!"

    The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but
    with a puzzled look asked, "Why Secret?"

    The cowboys says, "Because its strong enough for a man
    ,but made for a woman!
     
  2. gofish

    gofish Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Thats a good one!
     
  3. That is funny!
     
  4. allen

    allen Smoking Fanatic

    [​IMG] Two lawyers are stranded on a desert island for several months.



    The only thing on the island was a tall coconut

    tree, which provided them their only food. Each

    day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to

    see if he could spot a rescue boat coming.



    One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree,"WOW,

    I just can't believe my eyes, there is a woman out there floating in
    our

    direction." The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said,
    "You're

    hallu-cinating; you've finally lost your mind."



    But within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a stunning red head,

    Face up, totally naked, unconscious without even so
    much as a ring or earrings On her.



    The two lawyers went down to the water, dragged her up on the beach
    and

    discovered, yes, indeed she was alive, warm and breathing, but
    sunburned

    and needing immediate care and nursing.



    One said to the other (as a typical male would), "You know, we've been
    on

    this God-forsaken island for months now without a woman. It's been
    such a

    long, long time. Do you think we should...well--you know screw her?"



    (ok--you're gonna love this)



    "Out of WHAT?", asked the other lawyer
     
  5. dutch

    dutch Smoking Guru Staff Member Administrator Group Lead OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Dang you Tee-you forgot to post a spew warning!! Oh well my monitor needed cleaning anyhoo!!
     
  6. deejaydebi

    deejaydebi Smoking Guru

    Both good ones
     
  7. dionysus

    dionysus Meat Mopper OTBS Member

    Warning ....Politically incorrect joke ahead!





    Was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

    Got a call center in Pakistan.

    Told them I was suicidal,

    they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane!
     

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