Discussion in 'Jokes' started by vulcan75001, Jul 28, 2007.

  1. vulcan75001

    vulcan75001 Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    1."If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
    2."It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you
    bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual
    3."Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
    encountered automatic weapons." - General Macarthur
    4."You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S.

    Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
    5."Tracers work both ways" - U.S. Army Ordnance
    6."Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
    7."Any ship can be a minesweeper, Once."
    8."Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown
    Marine Recruit
    9."If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo
    10."Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil.
    For I
    am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." - At the entrance to the old SR-71
    operating base Kadena, Japan
    11."You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul
    Crickmore (test pilot)
    12."The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
    13."When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have
    power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
    14."Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive
    15."Never trade luck for skill."
    16."The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just
    kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
    17."There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." -
    over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
    18.As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having
    off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives,
    rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?". The pilot's
    "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to Ray Crandell
    (Lockheed test pilot)
  2. zapper

    zapper Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Keep in mind that all of your equipment was made by the lowest bidder.

    Anything that you do can get you killed, including doing nothing!

    Act unimportant, maybe the enemy is low on ammo.

    Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

    Don't let anyone dumber than you, tell you what to do.
  3. gypsyseagod

    gypsyseagod Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    "custer was a p***y"- sam elliot - we were soldiers once.

    "do you want to fight or do you want to surf son?"- robert duvall-apocalypse now

    "this is the deadly end"-usmc sniper instructor referring to the butt of the rifle.
  4. mossymo

    mossymo Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Cowboy Wisdom
    Every trail has some puddles.

    There's no place 'round the campfire for a
    quitter's blanket.

    Tossin' your rope before buildin' a loop don't
    ketch the calf.

    Polishing your pants on saddle leather don't make
    you a rider.

    A closed mouth gathers no boots.

    Don't name a cow you plan to eat.

    Be thankful we're not getting all the government
    we're paying for.

    Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    Life is not about how fast you run, or how high
    you climb, but how well
    you bounce.

    Keep skunks, lawyers, and bankers at a distance.

    Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

    Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

    Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

    Don't corner something meaner than you.

    It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

    When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

    Most of the stuff people worry about never

    Don't squat with your spurs on.

    Remember that silence is sometimes the best

    Don't interfere with something that ain't
    botherin' you none.

    Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain

    It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.

    A wink's as good as a nod to a blind mule.

    If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to
    do is stop diggin'.

    Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule, or a

    It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock
    of sheep.

    Any hoss's tail kin ketch cockleburs.

    Wide open spaces don't breed no chatterboxes.

    You can never tell which way the pickle's goin' to

    If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some
    influence, try orderin'
    somebody else's dog around.

    Always drink upstream from the herd.

    Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew;
    your mouth is probably
    a whole lot bigger'n you think.

    Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta
    that comes from bad

    If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look
    back every now and then,
    to make sure it's still there with ya.

    Virtue is its own punishment.

    A man afoot is no man at all.

    A good fence should be pig tight, horse high, and
    bull strong.

    Never hire the people you drink with.

    There never was a horse that couldn't be rode,
    there never was a rider
    that couldn't be throwed.

    When in doubt, let your horse figure it out.

    Only a buzzard feeds on his friends.

    Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.

    Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from
    the rear or a fool
    from any direction.

    The wilder the colt, the better the hoss.

    Its a big mistake to drive Black cattle in the

    A smart ass just doesn't fit in the saddle...

    A faint heart never filled a flush.

    Never mention "rope" in the home of a hanged man.

    Success is the size of the hole a man leaves when
    he dies.

    A cow outfit's never better than its hosses.

    No one but cattle know why they stampede and they
    ain't talking.

    You'll never break a horse if you stay sittin' on
    the fence.

    Never drink unless you're alone or with somebody.

    You can judge a man by the hoss he rides.

    A full house divided don't win no pots.

    When a cowboy's too old to set a bad example, he
    hands out good advice.

    A bronc rider should be light in the head and
    heavy in the seat.

    Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot
    easier than putting it back in.

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