Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blackhawk19, Sep 27, 2007.

  1. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    [font=&quot]Pregnancy Q &A &more! [/font]

    [font=&quot]Q: Should I have a baby after 35?[/font]
    [font=&quot]A: No, 35 children is enough. [/font]

    [font=&quot]Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?[/font]
    [font=&quot]A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.[/font]

    [font=&quot]Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?[/font]
    [font=&quot]A: Childbirth. [/font]

    [font=&quot]Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.[/font]
    [font=&quot]A: So what's your question?[/font]

    [font=&quot]Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?[/font]
    [font=&quot]A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.[/font]

    [font=&quot]Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?[/font]
    [font=&quot]A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.[/font]

    [font=&quot]Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?[/font]
    [font=&quot]A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.[/font]

    [font=&quot]Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?[/font]
    [font=&quot]A: Yes, pregnancy. [/font]

    [font=&quot]Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?[/font]
    [font=&quot]A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.[/font]

    [font=&quot]Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?[/font]
    [font=&quot]A: When the kids are in college.[/font]
    [/font] [font=&quot]"ESTROGEN ISSUES" [/font]

    [font=&quot]10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"[/font]

    [font=&quot]1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.[/font]
    [font=&quot]2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.[/font]
    [font=&quot]3 The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.[/font]
    [font=&quot]4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.[/font]
    [font=&quot]5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".[/font]
    [font=&quot]6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.[/font]
    [font=&quot]7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."[/font]
    [font=&quot]8. You 're not as nice as you used to be and you used to be a *****.[/font]
    [font=&quot]9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.[/font]
    [font=&quot]10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.[/font]


    [font=&quot]10. Cats' facial expressions.[/font]
    [font=&quot]9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.[/font]
    [font=&quot]8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.[/font]
    [font=&quot]7. Fat clothes.[/font]
    [font=&quot]6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.[/font]
    [font=&quot]5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.[/font]
    [font=&quot]4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.[/font]
    [font=&quot]3. Eyelash curlers.[/font]
    [font=&quot]2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.[/font]

    [font=&quot]AND, the Number One thing only women understand:[/font]

    [font=&quot]1. OTHER WOMEN[/font]

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