Discussion in 'Jokes' started by chris_harper, Sep 6, 2007.

  1. chris_harper

    chris_harper Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica] 5 people are on a plane that is going down. There are only 4 parachutes.

    Kobe Bryant says he is a star basketball player and the team needs
    him, so he takes a parachute and jumps out.

    Ted Turner says that he is doing good work for the people and believes
    that his kidneys will last a couple more years, so he takes a
    parachute and jumps out.

    Hillary Clinton says that she is the best person for the presidency
    and is the smartest person on the plane. She takes a parachute and
    jumps out.

    That leaves a 5 year old girl and George Bush. George says that he has
    lived a long, good life and knows he will go to heaven, so he gives
    the parachute to the little girl.

    The little girl smiles and says, "Mr. Bush, we have 2 parachutes
    left". Confused, George Bush says that there were only 4 parachutes
    on the plane.

    The little girl says, "yes, sir, but that smart lady jumped out with
    my backpack.

    [/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica] A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment."

    The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

    He never heard the shot....
  2. dutch

    dutch Smoking Guru Staff Member Administrator Group Lead OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Dang, Chris that last one was funny. You know what it feels like to spew hot tomato soup into you sinuses? [​IMG] At least give us a warning next time!![​IMG]
  3. bigarm's smokin

    bigarm's smokin Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    you started my day right Chris. [​IMG] Terry
  4. smokincowboy

    smokincowboy Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    I'm with Dutch on this one . Now that was funny
  5. flagriller

    flagriller Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    [​IMG] Now that's funny
  6. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    I like it [​IMG]
  7. pigcicles

    pigcicles Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    That is a good one! Kinda takes ya back to man rule.. I think it was #1.. If you think you are too fat - you probably are.. don't ask us!

    [​IMG] Also goes for too skinny, too tall, too short.. just about any personal question a woman might have[​IMG]
  8. t-bone tim

    t-bone tim Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    roflmao...thanks chris ,I was in need of a good laugh [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
  9. crewdawg52

    crewdawg52 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Beautimus Chris!
  10. bigal

    bigal Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    I don't care who you are, thats funny ____ right there!

    Printed and posted in the house! [​IMG][​IMG]
  11. deejaydebi

    deejaydebi Smoking Guru

    I'm not sure which it funnier the joke or the Tomatoe soup!

    Sorry Dutch!
  12. chris_harper

    chris_harper Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    thanks folks. i got that off the concours forum* i (and dawgwhat) frequent.

    *concours is a model of motorcyle that dawgwhat and i ride. here is a picture of mine. it is made by kawasaki.

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