One for the Ladies of the Forum

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blackhawk19, Oct 1, 2007.

  1. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
    Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
    He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
    And they say blondes are dumb.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
    The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
    ------------------------------------------
    "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
    of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the Neighbors would think
    if I mowed the lawn like this?"
    "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
    ------------------------------------------
    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor
    --------------------------------------
    A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their Special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
    The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
    Gotta love that fairy!
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Lord,
    I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
    Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat
    him to death.
    AMEN
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    ------------------------------------------ -
    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: They are practicing to be men.
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    Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
    ------------------------------------------
    Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
    A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
    ------------------------------------------
    Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
     
  2. deejaydebi

    deejaydebi Smoking Guru

    Hehehehehehehe I think I know those guys!
     

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