You might be a Redneck if .............................
04/01 anyone yelled"been there, done that" as you walked down the aisle
04/02 you've broken your nose while picking it
04/03 you missed your prom because you heard the catfish were biting
04/04-05 you've made the cover of National Enquirer more than once
04/06 you receive mail at your deer stand
04/07 the air vents in your trailer are actually bullet holes
04/08 you've done doughnuts during a test-drive
04/09 you think Old Yeller is the name of your grandfather's tooth
04/10 your children trip over Christmas lights hunting for Easter eggs
04/11-12 your idea of an egg hunt involves a shotgun
04/13 you've thrown your back out while breaking wind
04/14 you can see six abandoned vehicles from your kitchen window
04/15 you can go to the bathroom, check on the kids, and make a sandwich during the caution lap
04/16 you keep an ashtray in the shower
04/17 you can recite the liquor laws of all fifty states
04/18-19 your wedding reception doubles as a easting contest
04/20 you think "paprika" is a Third World country
04/21 no two items match in your patio set
04/22 your grandma's walker used to be a folding chair
04/23 you've ever framed a picture of a pig
04/24 you own a denim thong
04/25-26 you've propositioned a juror from the witness stand
04/27 you've shouted "go grandma!" at a wet T-Shirt contest
04/28 most of the socks you own allow you to cut your toenails while wearing them
04/29 every time you walk into a convenience store the staff put their hands up
04/30 there's high-stakes poker at your baby shower
beard
04/01 anyone yelled"been there, done that" as you walked down the aisle
04/02 you've broken your nose while picking it
04/03 you missed your prom because you heard the catfish were biting
04/04-05 you've made the cover of National Enquirer more than once
04/06 you receive mail at your deer stand
04/07 the air vents in your trailer are actually bullet holes
04/08 you've done doughnuts during a test-drive
04/09 you think Old Yeller is the name of your grandfather's tooth
04/10 your children trip over Christmas lights hunting for Easter eggs
04/11-12 your idea of an egg hunt involves a shotgun
04/13 you've thrown your back out while breaking wind
04/14 you can see six abandoned vehicles from your kitchen window
04/15 you can go to the bathroom, check on the kids, and make a sandwich during the caution lap
04/16 you keep an ashtray in the shower
04/17 you can recite the liquor laws of all fifty states
04/18-19 your wedding reception doubles as a easting contest
04/20 you think "paprika" is a Third World country
04/21 no two items match in your patio set
04/22 your grandma's walker used to be a folding chair
04/23 you've ever framed a picture of a pig
04/24 you own a denim thong
04/25-26 you've propositioned a juror from the witness stand
04/27 you've shouted "go grandma!" at a wet T-Shirt contest
04/28 most of the socks you own allow you to cut your toenails while wearing them
04/29 every time you walk into a convenience store the staff put their hands up
04/30 there's high-stakes poker at your baby shower
beard
