Jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by bwsmith_2000, Jul 15, 2005.

  1. bwsmith_2000

    bwsmith_2000 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Subject: DOGS


    The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
    -Anonymous

    Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
    -Ann Landers

    If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
    -Will Rogers

    A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
    himself.
    -Josh Billings

    The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
    -Andy Rooney

    We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
    -M. Acklam

    Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
    -Sigmund Freud

    I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
    -Rita Rudner

    A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
    times before lying down.
    -Robert Benchley

    Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
    -Franklin P. Jones

    If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
    known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
    -James Thurber

    If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
    -Unknown

    My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
    -Joe Weinstein

    Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
    -Anne Tyler

    Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
    -Robert A. Heinlein

    Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.
    -Dave Miliman

    If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
    -Mark Twain

    You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
    - Dave Barry

    Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
    -Roger Caras

    If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your
    pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
    -Phil Pastoret

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am
     
  2. Jessie say's, "Yes these are all true statements!" :D "Now give me a treat!"

    [​IMG]
    Nick
     

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