I think my wife is cheating on me

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by smokin out the neighbors, Sep 11, 2008.

  1. smokin out the neighbors

    smokin out the neighbors Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    I've never talked about this before, but I really need the boards advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

    The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
    My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.â€

    I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

    I once picked her cell phone bill and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone bill again and why was I checking up on her.

    Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

    I decided I was going to move my smoker next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my smoker , that I noticed that the smoker was starting to develop some rust on the firebox.

    Is this something I can fix mysel f or should I get it sandblasted and powdercoated?
  2. guvna

    guvna Smoking Fanatic

    huh? .............. i guess you should sand bla... what happened when she came home!!!!!
  3. grothe

    grothe Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    LMAO!!! That's just Da** too funny!!!!
  4. sandman67

    sandman67 Newbie

  5. smokin365

    smokin365 Smoking Fanatic

    just wire brush it and give it a good coat of hi temp. Id get on that tho, before its too late. If ur still worried about the wife, she'll give u another chance to catch her. the smoker only gives you one chance to deter rust. Glad u got ur priorities in line. [​IMG]
  6. waysideranch

    waysideranch Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    I think you should write a song about this. It would be as good as that fishing song. I'm glad you have your priorities in line. Good man. LOL.
  7. leupy

    leupy Fire Starter

    For the smoker get a good primer after wire brushing then you can use a good high temp paint. For the wife radio shack a small cheap recorder and a telephone relay and you will know everthing, even though you may not want to know everything.
  8. capt dan

    capt dan Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    give er enough rope, she'll hang herself .
    If ya don't use high temp primer, the high temp paint won't last any longer than regular paint. found out the hard way.
  9. desertlites

    desertlites Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    bust the wife & your sure to be able to get a bigger and more faithfull smoker!
  10. taterdavid

    taterdavid Smoke Blower

    lose the wife and get a younger more modern smoker with all the modifications[​IMG]
  11. meat-man

    meat-man Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    Damn dude that was good !
  12. bb53chevpro

    bb53chevpro Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    I can give you the number of the guy who blasted my bro in law's smoker (if you want it all bent and twisted out of shape). Oh I'll have to see about using a taxi the next time.......LOL

    Good one, nice priorities.
  13. pops6927

    pops6927 Smoking Guru Staff Member Moderator Group Lead OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    So, do you think your wife's strokin' some ribs, squeezin' a butt or two, or someone's playin' hankypanky in her brisket area? I'd be checkin' for wayward BBQ sauce. See if her hands smell like applejuice spritz. Now, you could call her about halfway thru her tardiness; give her five sides to pick up and see if she gets 'em all and how many forks been stuck in 'em.
    Make her rub down the rust and see what kinda movements she's makin' and if she's daydreamin' about somebuddy. Have her write her name 5 times fast and see how many of 'em are "Roger" or "Tom"... wouldn't hurt to 'grill' her a little bit too. See if she knows the difference between Hot Smokin' and Hox S*x! (More flavor with the smokin'). She'll probably just confess, fall to her knees and beg to have you give her forgiveness - plus fill up the firebox while she's down there...!
  14. cman95

    cman95 Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    Your gonna smoke her????[​IMG] Don't let anything splatter on the metal smoker!!
  15. mossymo

    mossymo Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Get that smoker fixed as soon as possible and install a remote thermometer on the wife, then you will know if she is done and/or ready.....

    Great topic !!!
  16. longshot

    longshot Meat Mopper OTBS Member

    C'mon Smokin,
    you really should thank her for setting up a situation that led to your early diagnosis of the rust problem. Sheesh don't be so self centered dude!!!
  17. binindy

    binindy Newbie

    Dude...just too funny! But on to another issue, what about the Colts? Sure didn't look good in the opener...might get crushed if they can't stop the run up in Minnesota.

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