I Have A.A.A.D.D.

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blackhawk19, Sep 27, 2007.

  1. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -

    Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

    This is how it manifests:

    I decide to water my garden.

    As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
    I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

    As I start toward the garage,
    I notice mail on the porch table that
    I brought up from the mail box earlier.

    I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

    I lay my car keys on the table,
    put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
    and notice that the can is full.

    So, I decide to put the bills back
    on the table and take out the garbage first.

    But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox
    when I take out the garbage anyway,
    I may as well pay the bills first.

    I take my check book off the table,
    and see that there is only one check left.

    My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
    so I go inside the house to my desk where
    I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

    I'm going to look for my checks,
    but first I need to push the Coke aside
    so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

    The Coke is getting warm,
    and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

    As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
    a vase of flowers on the counter
    catches my eye--they need water.

    I put the Coke on the counter and
    discover my reading glasses that
    I've been searching for all morning.

    I decide I better put them back on my desk,
    but first I'm going to water the flowers
    I set the glasses back down on the counter,
    fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

    Someone left it on the kitchen table.

    I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
    I'll be looking for the remote,
    but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
    so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
    but first I'll water the flowers.

    I pour some water in the flowers,
    but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

    So, I set the remote back on the table,
    get some towels and wipe up the spill.

    Then, I head down the hall trying to
    remember what I was planning to do.

    At the end of the day:

    > the car isn't washed
    > the bills aren't paid
    > there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
    > the flowers don't have enough water,
    > there is still only 1 check in my check book,
    > I can't find the remote,
    > I can't find my glasses,
    > I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

    Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
    I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
    and I'm really tired.
     
  2. shellbellc

    shellbellc Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    That's a funny one!
     

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