*Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about **Iowa**.
>
> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September
> through May, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance
> and they don't work there, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you
> live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with
> someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of DES MOINES
> for the weekend, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you live
> in **Iowa**.
>
> If you know several people who have hit a cow more than
> once, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you have gone from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and
> back again, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you can drive 70 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
> raging blizzard without flinching, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you install security lights on your house and garage,
> but leave both unlocked, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife
> knows how to use them, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
> snowsuit, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If the I-80 speed limit is 70 mph -- you're going 90 and
> everybody is passing you, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If driving is better in the winter because the potholes
> are filled with snow, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
> winter and road construction, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you have more hours on your lawn mower, and snow
> blower than miles on your car, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you understand these jokes, forward them to all your
> Iowa friends and others, who actually live or have lived in **Iowa**.*
>
> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September
> through May, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance
> and they don't work there, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you
> live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with
> someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of DES MOINES
> for the weekend, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you live
> in **Iowa**.
>
> If you know several people who have hit a cow more than
> once, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you have gone from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and
> back again, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you can drive 70 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
> raging blizzard without flinching, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you install security lights on your house and garage,
> but leave both unlocked, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife
> knows how to use them, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
> snowsuit, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If the I-80 speed limit is 70 mph -- you're going 90 and
> everybody is passing you, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If driving is better in the winter because the potholes
> are filled with snow, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
> winter and road construction, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you have more hours on your lawn mower, and snow
> blower than miles on your car, you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in **Iowa**.
>
> If you understand these jokes, forward them to all your
> Iowa friends and others, who actually live or have lived in **Iowa**.*
