[font="]I Love Carlin, Enjoy!
George Carlin's Views on Aging
>>
>>Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
>>when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
>>aging that you think in fractions.
>>
>>"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a
>>half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
>>
>>You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the
>>next number, or even a few ahead.
>>
>>"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're
>>gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21.
>>Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
>>
>>But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like
>>bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're
>>Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
>>
>>You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the
>>brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your
>>dreams are gone.
>>
>>But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
>>
>>So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
>>
>>You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a
>>day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
>>
>>You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch;
>>you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s,
>>you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
>>
>>Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
>>kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
>>May you all make it to a healthy 100! and a h alf!!
>>
>>
>>HOW TO STAY YOUNG
>>1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
>>Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them "
>>
>>2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
>>
>>3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
>>whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's
>>workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
>>
>>4. Enjoy the simple things. Trust in the Lord.
>>
>>5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
>>
>>6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is
>>with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
>>
>>7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
>>keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
>>
>>8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
>>improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
>>
>>9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
>>county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
>>
>>10 Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
>>
>>
>>AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
>>Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
>>that take our breath away.
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George Carlin's Views on Aging
>>
>>Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
>>when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
>>aging that you think in fractions.
>>
>>"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a
>>half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
>>
>>You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the
>>next number, or even a few ahead.
>>
>>"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're
>>gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21.
>>Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
>>
>>But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like
>>bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're
>>Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
>>
>>You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the
>>brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your
>>dreams are gone.
>>
>>But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
>>
>>So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
>>
>>You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a
>>day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
>>
>>You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch;
>>you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s,
>>you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
>>
>>Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
>>kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
>>May you all make it to a healthy 100! and a h alf!!
>>
>>
>>HOW TO STAY YOUNG
>>1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
>>Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them "
>>
>>2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
>>
>>3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
>>whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's
>>workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
>>
>>4. Enjoy the simple things. Trust in the Lord.
>>
>>5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
>>
>>6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is
>>with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
>>
>>7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
>>keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
>>
>>8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
>>improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
>>
>>9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
>>county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
>>
>>10 Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
>>
>>
>>AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
>>Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
>>that take our breath away.
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