From the New Zealand Association Of Retired People (Caution-Spew Alert!!)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by dutch, Jun 30, 2011.

  1. dutch

    dutch Smoking Guru Staff Member Administrator Group Lead OTBS Member SMF Premier Member


    From the New Zealand Association Of Retired People

    Questions and Answers

    Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested  in them?  

    A: In a bookstore under "Fiction'    

    Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

    A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can build a shed.

    When you're done you'll have a place to live.

    Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?

    A: Tell him you're pregnant.

    Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

    A: Take off your glasses.

    Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

    A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

    Q: Why should 60-plus year old  people use valet parking?

    A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

    Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

    A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.

    Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

    A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

    Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

    A: On their foreheads.

    Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

    A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

    SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2011
  2. nwdave

    nwdave Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    [​IMG]   If this weren't so true, it would be humorous.  I try to keep written notes for the shopping lists and things to do each day, but I keep forgetting where I left the lists. 
     
  3. biaviian

    biaviian Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Dave, that happens to me and I'm 30.  That has ALWAYS happened to me.  I will get up, to pee, get distracted for 10-30+ minutes, and forget that I needed/wanted to pee.  That happens on a daily basis and has happened twice since 6am (5 hours).
     
  4. sunman76

    sunman76 Master of the Pit

    [​IMG]
     
  5. I've been suffering from CRS for years and am always finding my glasses on my head. I'm 10 years ahead of my time. [​IMG]
     
  6. meateater

    meateater Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    [​IMG]
     
  7. smokinal

    smokinal Smoking Guru Staff Member Moderator OTBS Member ★ Lifetime Premier ★

    God that describes me!  [​IMG]
     
  8. venture

    venture Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Dave, you are really in bad shape.  I usually remember exactly where the lists are.  Right after I get to the store!

    Good luck and good smoking.
     
  9. justpassingthru

    justpassingthru Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Dave, ...by the time I've found the paper and pen I've forgotten what I was going to write.  LOL

    Seriously, right after I have forgotten what I wanted to write down I think how practical a small hand held recorder would be, then when I finally remember what it was, when I go to the store I forget to look for a recorder!  LOL LOL

    Old age, don't ya just love it!   [​IMG]

    Biaviian, believe me, ...after 60 we don't ever forget the need to pee.

    Gene
     
  10. alaskanbear

    alaskanbear Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    WELL, I AM OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE ACTUALLY PASSED FROM CRS AND GRADUATED TO CRAFT! I FEEL SO DAM LUCKY.

    Rich

    P.S.: CRAFT = Cant   Remember   A    F--king   Thing.
     
  11. scarbelly

    scarbelly Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    I just passed the magical 65 in June and I can relate to all of them
     
  12. nwdave

    nwdave Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    Heck, I'm knocking on the door of 67....what was the question???
     

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