English Language: Men vs Women (PG-17)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by crewdawg52, Oct 27, 2007.

  1. crewdawg52

    crewdawg52 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
    40-ish..................................49.
    Adventurous........................Slept with everyone.
    Athletic................................No breasts.
    Average looking..................Moooo.
    Beautiful..............................Pathologica l liar.
    Emotionally Secure..............On medication.
    Feminist...............................Fat.
    Free Spirit.............................Junkie.
    Friendship first....................Former Slut.
    New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
    Old-fashioned.....................No B.J.'s
    Open-minded.....................Desperate.
    Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
    Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
    Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
    Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.


    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
    Yes.....................................No
    No......................................Yes
    Maybe.................................No
    We need............................... I want
    I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry
    We need to talk......................You're in trouble
    Sure, go ahead........................You better not
    Do what you want...................You will pay for this later
    I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
    You're very attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about?

    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
    I am hungry...........................I am hungry
    I am sleepy............................I am sleepy
    I am tired..............................I am tired
    Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
    I love you..............................Let's have sex now
    I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?
    May I have this dance?.................I'd like to have sex with you.
    Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.
    Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you.
    Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.
    I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.
     
  2. bbq bubba

    bbq bubba Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Shouldn't you be working??? [​IMG]
     
  3. crewdawg52

    crewdawg52 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Cough..Hack..Wheeez....Got back yesterday.. cough...cough...morning from ....gasp...LA at ...wheez...2:30 am. hack.....Out again tomorrow morning at 650 am. [​IMG]
     
  4. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Good one Dawg [​IMG]
     
  5. glued2it

    glued2it Master of the Pit

    [​IMG] Nice!
     

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