Don't Fart In Bed

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by vulcan75001, Jan 14, 2008.

  1. vulcan75001

    vulcan75001 Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
    The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
    loudly every morning when he awoke.

    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water
    and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to
    stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he
    could not stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

    She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
    blow his guts out.

    The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

    Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey and her
    husband was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had
    put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts
    and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs
    where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
    covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
    emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
    which was followed
    by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran
    into the bathroom.

    The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
    laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture, she reckoned she
    had got him back pretty good.

    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
    bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

    She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

    All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you".

    "What do you mean?" asked his wife.

    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
    out, and today it finally happened.

    But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got
    most of them
    back in.
  2. white cloud

    white cloud Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    good one vul
  3. kookie

    kookie Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Thats to funny. Good one vul.

  4. cman95

    cman95 Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    By the grace of God....i bet God had to bite his lip too. Good one.[​IMG]

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