Bipartisan story....

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blackhawk19

Master of the Pit
Original poster
OTBS Member
Jun 20, 2007
1,778
27
Troy AL
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the Rugged Mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the PopeMobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.
A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat, and a "To Hell with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly. As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic Environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true.

As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?" "It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."

"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about Grizzly bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?
 
Posted By q3131a. This thread reminded me of the joke!





An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.

"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers!
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he continued walking alongside the river he heard
a rustling in the bushes.

Turning to look, he saw a 9 foot grizzly charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path.

Looking over his shoulder he
saw that the bear was closing in on him.

His heart was pumping frantically
and he tried to run even faster.

He tripped and fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw
to take a swipe at him.

At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God....!"

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying:

"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't
exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.
Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light and said:
"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke:

"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen.

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