"Abbot and Costello 101"
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER
FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I
help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with
Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I
look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a
computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need
something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you
recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with
windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.
What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click
the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if
you don't start with some straight answers!
What about financial. You have anything I can track my money?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your
computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my
computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsof t gave us a license to
copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy
money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A few days later . . . . . . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I
help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START" !!!!!
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER
FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I
help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with
Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I
look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a
computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need
something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you
recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with
windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.
What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click
the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if
you don't start with some straight answers!
What about financial. You have anything I can track my money?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your
computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my
computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsof t gave us a license to
copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy
money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A few days later . . . . . . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I
help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START" !!!!!
